Family Counseling

THE TEACHER SAYS….

Hampton Mental Health Associates Family Counseling, Individual Therapy, Medication Management, Psychiatric Evaluation Leave a comment   , , , , , , , , ,

The teacher says my child needs to be on medication!

Not an uncommon statement heard from the mothers who come to the clinic. This type or similar comments  leave parents puzzled. Parents don’t want to have their children on medication but don’t want to alienate the teacher of their children.

What do parents do in a situation like this? First, the teacher may have overextended himself outside his territory but one thing is sure, is that it cannot be ignored.  It could very well be that the teacher has concerns about the learning or behavior of the child. What is the next thing to do?

Well, a parent should not overreact and should request a meeting with one or more teachers and ask for more details that led to such a comment. It could very well be that issues can be described in more detail and noted, before that it can be reported accurately to a professional.

Many problems arise as a child grows up, some may be temporary and can be part of  normal development, some may be exaggerated by an unknown situation whether it is an abnormal event in the family or even outside the family. This is the most common occurrence (parental discord or separation, death of a loved one, issues with relatives or neighbors).

Nowadays, any problem that involves behavior issues in the school becomes a matter that the teachers are reluctant to get involved in up to a certain point. History of education in schools are telling us that much of the teachers ability to intervene in many ways, especially when it comes to discipline, has been contained progressively over the years due to, in some cases, abuse, over-punishment, parents objections over physical or emotional interferences and trauma.

This has resulted in the non-interference by the teachers and in many cases requesting help from the outside including mental health professionals.

That in no way justifies the notion that medication is the “answer” to a disruptive child.  However, that cannot be ruled out either. The best way to find out is to get a professional opinion, which can provide a sense of understanding and support or treatment.


The Silent Treatment

Hampton Mental Health Associates Family Counseling, Individual Therapy, Marital Counseling Leave a comment   , , , , ,

Does your child, husband, wife use the silent treatment when upset about something? The silent treatment can be a very damaging relationship problem.

The silent treatment or “stonewalling” refers to someone who is letting you know that something is wrong without telling you what and why. If you ask if anything is wrong, you are met with silence. There is no explanation, no response of any kind, only stony silence.

Too many people, within the context of their loved ones (adult and children), seem to believe that those people can read their mind. In other words, there is an incorrect notion that you should know why he or she is upset. Most often, the recipient of the silence is left with feelings of confusion and exasperation as they try to resolve the problem. However, how can someone resolve a problem when they do not know what is wrong?

On a deeper level, there is really a power struggle going on for the partner who has lapsed into silence. The silent treatment is really the expression of lots of aggression. The ultimate goal of the strategy is to win. The silent partner is expressing rage in a way that is passive aggressive. This is designed to get attention and to provoke feelings of guilt. Winning means that the target person admits to having committed some type of offense for which they are now begging forgiveness.

Because the use of this passive aggressive weapon is so damaging to relationships it is important to address these issues before it damage relationships further.

“Silent Treatment” is a form of unhealthy communications that is often a reflection on lack of resources to overcome one’s deficiencies and inability to use a constructive approach to overcome frustrations. It can be addressed with various types of therapy, whether behavior, cognitive and insight.


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